A Woman who doesn't Carry a Handbag = Trouble

I have always said that you can't trust a woman who doesn't carry a handbag. I recently received a lovely email from the one exception to my rule, my friend, L.A. Nikki, who has never carried a handbag in all the years that I have known her... very suspect, indeed.

Reasons why a woman who doesn’t carry a handbag can’t be trusted…

1. You can’t rely on them to have tissues, lipbalm, aspirin, blister packs, hairspray, nail file, or any of the other necessities.
   
2. There is always the possibility that they are wearing a money belt under their clothing.
   
3. They are always over-heated due to the many layers of pocketed clothing, so you never know if they are sweating due to the heat or a possible con-job.
   
4. No one trusts them enough to let them carry keys to their work, their mom’s house, or the boyfriend’s house. If they did, they would have to have a handbag to carry all of those keys.
   
5. They never have change for a dollar as they never would want jangly pockets. They do, however, tip well – however it is delivered in dimes and nickels.
   
6. They are only ever carrying 1 debit card and 1 credit card, and maybe a twenty. People with only one credit card are suspect.
   
7. They have good skin – obviously they don’t feel a need to carry an emergency concealer or face powder, and people with good skin cannot be trusted, period. They must be freaks.
   
8. They pay full price for everything because they never carry coupons. People who pay full price are just crazy.
   
9. Where do they carry their cellphones? Either they butt-dial or they do not (gasp) own a cellphone.
   
10. They must have nothing to hide – and you can’t trust people like that.